Cheating why

Cheating was more likely to end a relationship when it arose from anger, lack of love, low commitment or neglect. And it was less likely to do so when the infidelity was circumstantial. Surprisingly, only one in five The same number of couples The remaining relationships broke up for noncheating reasons. Rarely did infidelity lead to a real relationship.

Only one out of 10 of the affairs Gary W. Lewandowski, Jr. Already a subscriber? Sign in. Thanks for reading Scientific American. Create your free account or Sign in to continue. See Subscription Options. Go Paperless with Digital. Get smart. Sign up for our email newsletter.

Sign Up. Support science journalism. Of course, many couples come to the conclusion that their relationship has run its course—with the affair being a symptom of what was wrong, rather than the cause.

Whatever the case, trying to examine the issues together is your best chance to make sense of things. The person who has cheated will need to take responsibility for their own their behaviour as wrong and not make excuses and—although it can be very difficult for the person who has been cheated on—both partners will need to acknowledge their responsibility for what was wrong with the relationship prior to this happening.

In terms of next steps, our article on what to do if your partner has had an affair also has lots of useful information. Relationship Counselling can help you talk about the affair and what caused it in a safe and confidential environment. To book an appointment search for your local Relate services online. Why do people cheat? Disconnection One of the most common reasons for infidelity is the feeling that you and your partner have drifted apart.

Fear of commitment Sometimes, affairs occur at times when you might assume people would be the most secure in their relationship, such as after getting engaged or when someone is pregnant. Issues related to self-esteem Affairs can also arise from personal insecurities. Sexually addictive behaviour Affairs can commonly be linked to problems with sexually addictive behaviours. So what now?

Sure, stable, lasting love exists. But those first-date butterflies will only take you so far. This can make it harder to leave a relationship that still provides a sense of family, friendship, stability, and safety.

But staying in a relationship without romantic love may lead to a desire to experience love again and motivate infidelity. Simply having an opportunity to cheat can make infidelity more likely. Other factors often but not always add to the motivation to cheat. You might not choose to cheat if only one or two factors were involved. But this combination of motivating factors — the distance in your relationship, your feelings about your appearance, the attention of your coworker — can make infidelity more likely.

People who have a hard time with commitment may be more likely to cheat in some cases. In this case, one partner might end up cheating as a way of avoiding commitment, even if they actually would prefer to stay in the relationship.

Many people choose to stay in the relationship, often hoping things will improve, especially if the relationship is otherwise fulfilling. This can provide motivation to get those needs met elsewhere.

Unmet emotional needs can also motivate infidelity. Emotional infidelity can be tricky to define, but it generally refers to a situation where someone invest a lot of emotional energy in someone besides their partner. This can lead to an intimate connection that resembles a relationship.

A simple desire to have sex can motivate some people to cheat. But someone who wants to have sex might also look for opportunities to do so without any other motivators. Even people who have sexually fulfilling relationships might still want to have more sex with other people. This might result from a high level of sexual desire, not necessarily any sexual or intimate issues in the relationship. In the context of a relationship, the desire for variety often relates to sex. Attraction is another big part of variety.

Some people in monogamous relationships might have a hard time not acting on those feelings of attraction. Having sex with a new person can lead to positive feelings. You might feel empowered, attractive, confident, or successful. These feelings can build up your self-esteem.